“hold off, Is This a romantic date?” Podcast Episode 102: The Chart | Autostraddle

Recently on “hold off, So is this a m4m dating?” we are accompanied by Autostraddle Chief Executive Officer and

L Term

expert
Riese Bernard
to discuss: The Chart. You heard that right! This occurrence is about lesbian interconnectivity — hooking up with buddies’ exes, friends setting up with our exes, therefore the culture created by all of that drama.

Come when it comes down to gossip, remain for the psychological running. And before that enjoy a game title that examinations Christina’s limits: Would U-Haul? (Spoiler alert: she typically will never.)

Thank you for all your great comments after all of our premiere! If you haven’t however start thinking about providing us with a rating or review!

PROGRAM NOTES

+ Five years ago Riese build an
Old Hollywood information
this is the intersection of most my personal passions.

+ Discover
the article
We reference where I mention connecting with my roommates.

+ My crush of the week Mj Rodriguez revealed a songs movie on her behalf tune
“something you should Say”
!

+ As anyone who has only viewed a few symptoms of

The Nanny

this montage
of Christina’s crush of few days C.C. Babcock was shocking in my experience with regards to turned-out she and Niles are not both homosexual. (Christina informs me they basically nevertheless tend to be.)

---

Drew:

I’d be really okay with-it existing. I’d never ever add some other person without their unique permission. Nevertheless thought of whenever somebody had been like, “make sure you might be connected with myself,” I’d end up like, “Yeah, oahu is the life I resided. Really don’t care about.” Usually strange? Is the fact that problems?

Christina:

No, as if I found myselfn’t, i might feel terrible not. I might wind up as, “hold off, I’m not lying?”

Theme tune plays

Drew:

Hi, I’m Drew.

Christina:

Hi, I’m Christina.

Drew:

And introducing

Hold Off, Is It A Date?

Christina:


Wait, Is It A Date?

is actually an Autostraddle podcast inquiring the big concerns. First and foremost, would it be a date? What are dates? Who will be times? Do we like dates? They are the particular concerns that individuals address on this subject right here extremely pro and beautiful podcast.

Drew:

I’m Drew Gregory. I am a writer at Autostraddle and a filmmaker and, famously, a trans lesbian.

Christina:

I’m called Christina Tucker. I’m in addition a writer at Autostraddle. I will be a loud queer on the internet. I’m recovering at explaining my self as a writer and, famously, a lesbian. That is united states. That is which we are.

Drew:

Yeah. Therefore all of our main topic this week may be the Chart.

Christina:

I recently thought it needed a sting. I don’t know. That believed truly remarkable, but I think it required it.

Drew:

Yes. No, please, please, kindly. Many thanks, many thanks. No, no, no. The most effective number of crisis.

Christina:

Thanks a lot.

Drew:

Yeah. So we’re making reference to lesbian interconnectivity.

Christina:

Everyone loves that expression given that it feels like you should restart the lesbians. It may sound like the connection to the internet actually functioning.

Drew:

Yes. it is very advanced, extremely futuristic, but in addition has been in existence since there’s been lesbians, I think.

Christina:

Yeah. In my opinion scholars will say whenever they found the very first lesbian fossils, they found a data alongside ones created to the sand. And I also think’s just what that movie is about, proper? It’s about the data? That motion picture with Kate Winslet additionally the mud fossils?

Drew:


Ammonite?

Christina:

Yeah, that is what it’s about.

Drew:

I wish

Ammonite

was about cave females. I’d watch that lesbian motion picture.

Christina:

Well, when I have not seen it, I’m going to fearlessly point out that it was. Cool.

Drew:

Yeah. Because it’s like we now have many lesbian period pieces, but we have now never ever gone back that far. And that I think it’s the perfect time we perform.

Christina:

Let’s simply hold taking it further back in its history.

Drew:

Before we get to our primary topic, you are nevertheless getting to know you. And that I felt that it could be enjoyable to play a game title for which you guys could truly analyze Christina. Therefore the icebreaker with this few days is actually a little online game that we call “Would U-Haul.”

Christina:

I will be, again, so pressured about this. This could you should be ways I come to the online game. This could be my personal game mentality, a tiny bit high-key, slightly stressed. That’s fine. We are all discovering.

Drew:

I think which is fantastic. I believe that will cause you to more susceptible, perhaps.

Christina:

One of my favorite emotions.

Drew:

Only a terror, just a serious terror. And so the method in which “Would U-Haul” works is actually I’m going to explain a scenario. Let us call-it Christina lover fiction. And I also’m planning pause after each and every small area getting similar, “Okay, Christina, I’m sure you have never lived with somebody, do not want to live with a partner. But under these scenarios, would U-Haul?”

Christina:

And that I will either say yes or I’ll state, “i am all set.”

Drew:

If you do not — really, we are going to see right here. But i am excited. I do believe I’ve possibly damaged the signal.

Christina:

You’ve cracked the signal? I am thrilled.

Drew:

Let’s observe how very long this takes. And in case you won’t ever perform, i believe you win? I am not sure just how you will find champions right here.

Christina:

I am not sure there are champions inside online game of U-Hauling.

Drew:

Really, I am not sure if you’ll accept that following this. And so I’m going to get heading.

Christina:

Reasonable enough.

Drew:

Okay. So, Christina.

Christina:

Drew.

Drew:

You are at the buddy’s wedding. In spite of the great number of romcoms you consumed, you did maybe not head to this wedding considering you’ll meet any person because, well, this is simply not a romcom. This is actually the real and normal longevity of Christina Grace Tucker. You take your own assigned chair and are also glancing at the telephone when you realize a woman at your dining table is looking at you. She presents herself as the buddy’s former baby sitter. She’s remained a pal of the household, but she doesn’t really know anybody there. She looks like mid-forties and contains a striking angular face. You start talking. She proposes to allow you to get a drink. When she gets up, you realize she is six feet high, 6′ 3″ in pumps. And that means you know very well what? I am only planning to hold on there and start to become like, at this point, would U-Haul?

Christina:

I am captivated. I’m captivated because I might get put only at that wedding. But so far I am not U-Hauling anywhere.

Drew:

Cool. Which is completely reasonable. Entirely fair. Okay. So you spend the entire wedding ceremony getting to know the other person. Absolutely merely an immediate spark and quick chemistry. And certainly, you will do connect and the gender is actually amazing.

Christina:

Tight.

Drew:

And thus this marriage was a student in Northern Ca. Which means you both increase your stays for three times to fuck and check out and eat at restaurants and fuck. And you offer to divide the price of the now joint space, but she laughs you down and is also want, “certainly not, honey.” Therefore, the next 3 days tend to be miracle. You are feeling the wall space tumbling all the way down. You are falling faster than you ever have. Would U-Haul?

Christina:

Thus only for quality’s sake, i am having trouble picturing some sort of whereby we got three surprise times from try to go out with someone i actually do maybe not understand. That looks bonkers. However if I did, best for me. But I’m not U-Hauling at this point. It will likely be a no.

Drew:

Great. Okay. Which is fine. You just found. I have it. I have it. Okay.

Christina:

Thank you plenty.

Drew:

So she returns to ny and you also return to Philadelphia.

Christina:

That is where I reside.

Drew:

And you are texting everyday. That is where you live and it is where this woman resides. And you are texting constantly and you see both several times monthly. She’s extremely active together work, but she’s rapid to buy you a train pass to appear see the lady and remain at her stunning brownstone in Fort Greene. And half a year go. And something evening when you’re out to meal, she asks you to definitely relocate together. Would U-Haul?

Christina:

And go on to Ny? I don’t love ny. No, I am not moving in at six months level. I am not carrying out that, no.

Drew:

Okay, okay. Totally, entirely, entirely. Wow. Okay. Which means you hold matchmaking long distance. She realizes that you’ll need some time and the woman is happy to anticipate you. Some more months move. It really is today been over a year. Your landlord lets you know they are offering your place to a developer that’s investing in apartments, so you can’t renew it. You should discover another place. The today gf tells you that no stress, but the woman present still appears. Would U-Haul?

Christina:

Okay. At this stage, i’d U-Haul for 2 factors.

Drew:

Yay! Ok. Please tell us.

Christina:

Largely, in a global in which my personal landlord ended up selling my house to cultivate it, my property owner is currently my personal closest friend, to make sure that seems like some thing has gone incorrect within friendship. And I also must merely leave Philadelphia anyway. Whenever I get to maneuver in using my girl over here, that looks okay. That’s good. Totally okay. But yeah, In my opinion I might require an external force like a mean property owner.

Drew:

That’s therefore — fine. I did so genuinely believe that you might want to require property for here, therefore I’m pleased I knew that.

Christina:

Yeah. Which is just what actually has to eventually me personally initial.

Drew:

Well, i am glad to know what it takes. Very theoretically, if you weren’t knocked away, exactly how much longer?

Christina:

Honestly, might went on for quite some time. Philly and ny are not even that not even close to both. I got area over right here. We are moving back and forth. We are having fun. I possibly could have permit that roll for a long period until i suppose Shoshana becomes the worst individual I’m sure.

Drew:

I didn’t realize that Shoshana possessed your house. Really, there you choose to go.

Christina:

There we go. Wow, which was thrilling.

Drew:

Well, thank you for playing.

Christina:

I am stressed, to-be obvious.

Drew:

And I’m pleased that i am aware… perhaps in case you are ever, so if anybody’s ever dating you and wishes one to move in, possibly your sweetheart told Shoshana to sell the house for the sake of your own relationship.

Christina:

Truthfully the fastest method — someone would only have to speak to Shoshana and be similar, “simply kick their away.” And she’d end up like, “Yeah, yes. Obviously.” That will be how it happened, even in the event she failed to promote your house. Somebody would you should be like, “is it possible to simply kick their away so she will merely get over it and move in beside me?” And she would state yes. Double she would do this. That’s what relationship is.

Drew:

Everyone loves that.

Christina:

Yeah, that’s really gorgeous.

Drew:

Well, i’m like we discovered a large number about you.

Christina:

Thanks. I believe like I discovered a large number about my self, as well. Threat of homelessness is truly the thing that helps to keep me transferring any situation, i assume. Wow.

Drew:

Well, which is great.

Christina:

That has been truly fascinating. I’m just as delighted to maneuver into our main segment because I think speaing frankly about lesbian connectivity using this guest, with this special visitor, i believe it will be incredible, Drew. How could you be feeling?

Drew:

I am therefore excited. This is an expert. And also by that, i am talking about an

L Term

expert, but also some a professional into the subject accessible.

Christina:

I think a few things could be true, my pal. I believe a couple of things can be correct indeed. Do we should present all of our guest or do we desire our visitor introducing by themselves?

Drew:

I would love our very own visitor to introduce herself.

Christina:

Guest.

Drew:

I will declare that all of our guest could be the one and only Riese Bernard.

Christina:

Guest, talk.

Riese:

Hi, I Am Riese. And it is unusual becoming the visitor!

Christina:

Yeah, it is.

Riese:

I got to not state something. I did not actually do it. I did say situations. I experienced to sit here quietly.

Christina:

And also you were actually brave. Along with your confronts had been appreciated.

Riese:

Thank you so much plenty.

Christina:

Though this really is clearly a sound medium, i’d like our audience to know that Riese ended up being creating some very nice effect faces during “Would U-Haul.”

Riese:

There is many ways getting heard. You know what I mean? That’s what i state. I’m the Chief Executive Officer of Autostraddle.com. And I’m also on an undefeated kickball group. That is certainly me. We have a dog known as Carol. And I have outdated men and women.

Christina:

Congrats on the kickball!

Riese:

Thank-you. I’ve been associated with folks.

Christina:

Great. Adoring that. That’s fantastic to create to this, this right here matchmaking podcast. Which is really good.

Riese:

Yeah. I do believe that… will there be anything else?

Drew:

No, i do believe which is great, Riese.

Christina:

Whatever you decide and wanna discuss.

Riese:

I like raspberries, the fruit raspberries, and swimming pools.

Christina:

Compared to…

Riese:

You Realize an individual goes like…

Drew:

It really is like whenever you hit. Yeah.

Christina:

Oh. Those are disgusting, thus I just evacuated them from my personal head.

Riese:

Yeah. That is certainly all.

Christina:

Great.

Drew:

Really, we right away looked at you because of this topic.

Christina:

That is true.

Drew:

Because first, clearly, queer females and non-binary folks in lesbian community have-been like, I’m not sure, having sex with folks whom people they know have acquired sex with since well before

The L Term

had been ever a series. But i really do feel like

The L Keyword

solidified a specific social concept of the data with Alice Pieszecki. Therefore I decided you’d have some understanding of this topic.

Riese:

It is real. Two of the experts, I would like to say, of

The L Term

had this genuine chart ones in addition to their buddies these people were drawing in the wall or whatever. And Guinevere Turner, In my opinion, was one among these. She spoke to united states about it, which they had built this. Because demonstrably, every person where writer’s room had banged other individuals within the author — you are sure that, as well as the extensive web of the generation of lesbians in la. And so they saw can these people were like, “Let’s place it inside the show.” Several of them take the data. Like, some of the people whom … like, real folks are from the data as bull crap.

Christina:

Which is incredible. That’s how you know you have made it.

Riese:

Isn’t that lovable?

Christina:

That could be exciting for my situation.

Riese:

And thus when you haven’t seen

The L Word,

first of all, congrats. Secondly, it gets the centerpiece of 1 of our own direct figure, Alice’s, apartment. She has it-all over the woman wall surface. And it also will be the title of web site which they started labeled as ourchart.com that flopped. And concept … and it’s really when you look at the pilot, I think. When you look at the very first occurrence, Alice begins speaking about how everybody’s linked, because everyone’s installed because of this person. And I also can connect you, as if you’re most likely no more than two degrees from me. And this had been genuine. Like, even with Dana, who had not a lot of knowledge because she was a closeted football player, they however could hook up her. That is certainly real world since it is genuine.

Christina:

Which is society. Yeah. That’s what society looks like.

Riese:

Which is culture. That is queer culture there. And then everybody tends to make their very own charts.

Christina:

Yeah. Making sure that was going to be my after that question, was have actually either of you made a chart? Because I really don’t imagine We have, I am also type today considering like, what was this this past year seated at my house for easily didn’t create a chart? Like, what was the purpose of that, really?

Riese:

I do believe i have completed it inside my log, equally like … Because i love, I’m not sure, arranging information, I guess, as an idea workout.

Christina:

Yeah, I think that’s also the reason why I am astonished that i’ven’t accomplished it. I like the concept of categorizing situations.

Riese:

Right. Yeah. Because it is fascinating. I’m not sure why its therefore interesting, but it’s. It is interesting are want, wow, most of these individuals, they may be linked. Its wild.

Drew:

Regarding the show, as soon as ourchart.com is created, they have a real data that people will add things. And I also feel like something that you joked in regards to on

To L and Straight Back,

nowadays individuals state on a regular basis is much like, when this existed in a real means, no one would place their brands on it, nobody would feel at ease putting their particular brands onto it.

Riese:

You might.

Drew:

I would personally. I might end up being very great with-it present. I might never include some other person without their unique authorization. Although idea of similar, everytime some body ended up being like, “concur that you are connected to me personally,” I’d be like, “Yeah, it’s the life i have lived. I really don’t care about.” Is weird? Is the fact that problematic?

Christina:

No, as if I wasn’t, i’d feel bad not-being … i might resemble, “Wait, I am not onto it? Like, i am sorry, what?” No, that could in fact deliver me into lighting moral anxiety about just who I am as an individual, what I’m carrying out. Have always been we interesting? Would individuals {like